


Until I Got Up Close, I’d Never Known

by MiaMoonWolf



Series: For the Love, I'd Fallen on [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff, Kisumi POV, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 23:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4156704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaMoonWolf/pseuds/MiaMoonWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shigino Kisumi now lives in Tokyo with his friend Tachibana Makoto while studying art. He's had a difficult past, but in this big city he's met someone who seems to make life a little brighter. </p>
<p>Or how Shigino and Mikoshiba ended up as more than just young men with a mutual friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And Everything Burns Much Brighter

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline of this fic mirrors that of chapter 2 in "Second Love" and I would suggest reading through at least chapter 4 of Second Love before reading this.

It just didn’t quite look right. Kisumi turned his painting upside down, then he twisted his head to the left. It was past two in the morning, he needed to get home.

*

Tuesday afternoon found him at La Lumière pouring over his art history notes. Most of his classes were studio based, but he also took theory. Ever since Makoto had started working here Kisumi had become an avid visitor.

“You sure do study hard.”

Kisumi looked up startled.

“It’s Mikoshiba right?”

“Yeah, want a hot shot?”

“A what?”

“Hot shot,” he said holding up the coffee pot.

“Oh yeah, thanks Mikoshiba,” Kisumi said pleasantly. In truth he still didn’t quite understand, but he knew that it meant more coffee.

As he looked around he realized that everyone else had left.

“So you on your break?”

Mikoshiba laughed, and it was the sort of laugh that filled the room, every part of it, even Kisumi.

“I suppose, but you know connecting with customers is part of the job too,” he said happily as he took the seat across from Kisumi.

“Hm I suppose so,” he said as he breathed in the coffee deeply. This coffee smelled like home, like his dad… like his mom, that’s part of why he liked coming here.

He hadn’t realized that he had closed his eyes until he opened them. Mikoshiba had a strange look on his face. Almost like he was startled.

“Is something wrong?”

“What? Oh no,” he said, his easy grin returning swiftly. “So what are you working on?”

“Well,” Kisumi eyed his notebook, he had definitely not been doing homework anymore.

Mikoshiba slid the notebook over and looked intently at the drawing.

“This is…”

“Ah it’s my brother.”

“He’s pretty cute,” Mikoshiba chuckled.

“Yeah, he’s entering junior high next year…” time seemed to have really gone by fast.

Mikoshiba opened his mouth to say something when the door to the café slammed open.

“Onii-chan! I’m here,” twirling and prancing in came Momo.

Mikoshiba gave Shigino one last smile. “It’s really good,” he said as he stood up and went over to Momo.

*

Kisumi was home for the anniversary of his mothers death. He stood in his childhood room with his dress shirt unbuttoned. He stared at himself in the mirror before running a hand over the scar. Six inches crossing over his left side ribs. He breathed in and out. He closed his eyes and counted to ten before opening them again. He buttoned his shirt up and headed back downstairs to sit with his dad and brother.

*

“You haven’t come in in a while,” Mikoshiba said as he sat across from Kisumi in the café.

“Yeah, I have a piece that I need to finish for our departments exhibit at the end of the semester, so I’ve been getting ready.”

Kisumi didn’t know when it had started, but now he seemed to be here pretty regularly. It was odd being at his roommate’s workplace but almost never seeing his roommate, but well Kisumi and Makoto had tried to synchronize their work schedules.

“I wanted to ask you… how’s Makoto doing?”

Last week Makoto had been running around the apartment stark naked, and although Kisumi hadn’t said anything about it he did see the huge bottle of vodka on the table in the morning. But then that night they had talked, and Makoto seemed surprisingly self-aware.

“I think that he’ll be ok… Thanks for looking out for him at work.”

“No problem,” Mikoshiba said and as he got up he rested his hand on Kisumi’s shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Kisumi felt a flutter in his stomach.

*

“Mikoshiba, my department is having it’s opening in the school gallery next week. I’m sure you’re busy but if you have time you should stop by,” Kisumi said as he handed him a flyer as casually as possible.

Mikoshiba was smiling at him as he took it, he didn’t even look at the flyer before saying that he’d be there.

*

Makoto was at Haru and Rin’s the night of the opening, but he had promised to come later in the week.

There were tables of food and drinks. Kisumi was talking to his friend Kaya about her work when he heard his name being loudly called. Mikoshiba was coming over to them. Kaya, ever tactful, bowed out swiftly.

“Hey, I’m glad you could make it,” Kisumi said. Mikoshiba looked, well very dashing. He was wearing a dark grey suit with a light green shirt that had the top two buttons undone. Kisumi hadn’t realized that he was staring until Mikoshiba explained that he’d had a class presentation earlier and hadn’t had time to change.

“No you fit in quite well,” Kisumi said looking over at some of the other well-dressed guests.

“So where’re your drawings?”

“Oh, actually I have two paintings up, I just sketch for ideas.”

Kisumi grabbed them each a drink and they walked around the gallery. Kisumi pointed different art out that his friends had done, and Mikoshiba seemed extremely impressed. He was an attentive guest, he’d ask questions and make comments. He’d spent so long walking around one sculpture that Kisumi couldn’t help but laugh at the furrowed brow as Mikoshiba tried to figure something out.

“Ah and these are the two that I did.”

Mikoshiba looked at the first one: a boy poised to jump into the water. Although the character was younger in the picture, Mikoshiba correctly identified it as Hayato.

The second one was of a woman with her hand on a window looking out at a barren field with a car in it. Kisumi watched as Mikoshiba frowned and looked closer.

“The car seems out of place…”

“It is out of place.”

Mikoshiba stared at it, then at the label _Looking to the Future._

“Is she… did you used to date her?”

“What?” Kisumi was totally thrown. He looked at the painting feeling slightly horrified and slightly sad, the latter being how he usually felt when he looked at it.

“No, it’s my mother.”

“Oh. She’s very beautiful.”

“Yes, she was,” Kisumi said quickly turning back to the painting of Hayato. “He looks like her doesn’t he?”

“I think that you look more like her.”

When Kisumi turned he was surprised to see a very serious expression on Mikoshiba’s face, it seems that he had understood. Kisumi smiled before turning back and unconsciously moving his hand to his left ribs.

“Yeah I think that’s true.”

*

Mikoshiba stayed for the whole thing and afterwards asked if Kisumi wanted to go grab a beer.

At 11:00 PM they hurried to catch the last train.

*

Kisumi had given Mikoshiba his number awhile ago, but back then it had just been so that they could communicate about Makoto if he was in trouble. So when Kisumi saw Mikoshiba’s name on his screen he picked up lightning fast.

“Mikoshiba?” he said frantically.

“Hey, everything ok?”

“What? Yeah is Makoto ok?”

There was silence on the other end. “Uh I wasn’t calling about Makoto.”

“Oh,” Kisumi could hear the surprise in his own voice.

“Is it ok that I called?”

“Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting it… I was just startled. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you were free this evening. Momo’s been going on and on about this restaurant in Shibuya.”

“Oh sure! Where should I meet you guys?”

“Oh um, Momo has work I meant just the two of us.”

“Oh…” Kisumi’s mind was working at a rapid rate. That sounded like a date right? But didn’t Mikoshiba like cute girls like Gou?

“You know I’m a guy right?” He had said it before he could process it. Mortified didn’t even come close to how he felt.

“Uh… yeah. If you don’t want to go it’s o-”

“No I do, sorry I do want to go with you.”

“Great,” Mikoshiba said. He seemed to be back to his peppy self already.

*

Kisumi had avoided thinking about Mikoshiba, because Mikoshiba was known to like cute girls. But well here they were and Mikoshiba was enthusiastic about Kisumi. And he told him that he would be paying, because he had asked Kisumi out, which definitely cleared up any previously lingering ambiguity.

*

“I had a really good time tonight,” Kisumi said as he unlocked the door to his apartment.

“Me too, Kisumi I- I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. His chest felt tight. He let his hands slide onto Mikoshiba’s waist. He was sure that he hadn’t misunderstood and as his eyes fluttered shut he felt Mikoshiba’s hand cup his cheek, his thumb rubbing lightly under Kisumi’s eye. Mikoshiba’s lips finally met with Kisumi’s and they were soft and plump and wonderful. Kisumi opened his mouth and Mikoshiba’s tongue rolled in slowly, carefully. He knew that they needed to break it up, slobbering allover each other on a first date was never a good idea so he slowly sucked on Mikoshiba’s bottom lip before pulling back.

He felt dazed, and it seemed like Mikoshiba was having a similar experience.

“Thanks for tonight,” Kisumi said giving a small smile.

“I’d like to go out again, if, if you want,” Mikoshiba said earnestly.

“Definitely,” Kisumi said before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and slipping into his apartment.


	2. Suddenly I Realize Everything I Thought Was Impossible Is Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisumi and Mikoshiba spend the weekend together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: lyrics from “Northern Lights” by Cider Sky

_2 weeks later_

 

“Shigino, this painting is amazing.”

“Thanks, Makoto.”

“She really was a beauty.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how my dad got landed with such a babe,” Kisumi said proudly as he looked at the painting of his mother.

“Haha your old man’s pretty good looking too.”

“Yeah, but-” _bzz bzz bzz_ “ah one minute.” He fished out his phone.

 

From: Mikoshiba Seijuurou

 

Hey are you free this weekend? My roommates going home for the weekend.

 

Kisumi stared at the message with a feeling of trepidation. This sounded like sex, and he was all for the sex. It was the not wearing clothes that was the problem. When he’d been in high school he’d fooled around with his friend Yamada, but Yamada had known about the accident, no explanations needed to be said when the scar came out. But after that he’d made it a point to do things mostly clothed – he’d tell his partners that he liked it that way.

“Hey Shigino are you ok?”

“Ah yeah sorry Makoto,” he slid his phone into his pocket, and looked up.

*

 

To: Mikoshiba Seijuurou

 

I can come over. Saturday good for you?

 

He’d done it quickly before he’d been able to talk himself out of it. He wanted to get to see Mikoshiba.

*

Saturday night found Kisumi standing outside of Mikoshiba’s door, a duffle bag over his shoulder. He’d told Makoto that he was going out, but he wasn’t sure why he had omitted where he was going. Makoto had enough to deal with without seeing all of his friends hooking up. He rang the doorbell.

Mikoshiba appeared shirtless in sweatpants.

“Hey, come on in,” he said pleasantly. Mikoshiba showed him around before taking him to his room. “You can put your stuff down wherever.” Even though he didn’t seem nervous Kisumi could tell that Mikoshiba was watching him when they entered his room. Kisumi noted that there wasn’t a futon laid out for him, so that’s why he was being watched – for a reaction. Kisumi schooled his expression before turning to Mikoshiba.

“So what do you want to do first?” he said casually as he took off his jacket.

“I was thinking of ordering something and watching a movie.”

They settled on Indian food and after much deliberation they chose an entirely unromantic action packed film that boasted secret agencies and several fatal injuries.

They learned quickly that they were both movie talkers. After finishing their food Mikoshiba went to put the leftovers in the fridge. When he came back he put his head in Kisumi’s lap and curled up like it was nobody’s business. Kisumi chuckled and rested his hand in Mikoshiba’s hair and began scratching. As it transpired Mikoshiba was like a giant cat that was practically purring under Kisumi’s ministrations. When the credits finally rolled Mikoshiba didn’t move a muscle.

“Hey Mikoshiba,” Kisumi shook him slightly: he’d fallen asleep.

They got ready for bed. Kisumi had on his oversized T-shirt and boxer shorts when Mikoshiba came back from the shower. He was wearing tight black briefs and an equally tight white tank. Kisumi was staring, because damn. This man was tall and extremely cut. Kisumi was fit, but he knew that he didn’t look like that. Maybe this was a bad idea. When he looked up at Mikoshiba’s face his brows were furrowed, he almost looked… disappointed? Why was he disappointed? Was Kisumi not sexy enough after all? Or did Mikoshiba not like that he was staring? Kisumi backed up a few steps.

“Hey it’s ok for you to look,” Mikoshiba said seriously. “It just seemed like you felt bad about something.”

Kisumi betrayed himself by looking down at his own body.

“That’s not something that you should be worrying about,” Mikoshiba said as he crossed over to where Kisumi was standing. He lifted his chin up and looked into his eyes. “Kisumi you’re beautiful,” he said seriously. How he had the nerve to not look embarrassed when he said that. But Kisumi could feel his face heating up. He tried to hide it but Mikoshiba was holding him in place. He kissed his temple and then made his way down his jaw before kissing his lips softly. “If you don’t want to do anything that’s ok, but if your reason is that you don’t think that I like what I see then you better rethink that.”

Kisumi nodded slowly preparing himself, “I do want,” he said as he made eye contact with Mikoshiba. Kisumi reached his hand up to hold the back of Mikoshiba’s neck lightly as he kissed him again. It was slow, torturously so in Kisumi’s opinion. Mikoshiba’s hands slid down to his waist and he slowly rubbed circles into his hips. Kisumi could feel himself hardening in his pants. It felt safe and sweet, he liked the slow burn after all.

But it didn’t last too long before Kisumi said “can we…” he looked past Mikoshiba to the bed. Mikoshiba nodded before grabbing his hand and leading him over. Mikoshiba sat back leaning against his pillows before beckoning Kisumi towards his lap. Kisumi carefully straddled Mikoshiba so that they weren’t actually touching yet.

Mikoshiba just sat there staring at him.

“What?” Kisumi sighted.

“Have you done this before?” Kisumi had felt it coming, but it still didn’t make it any easier to have this conversation.

“Sex?” Kisumi said laughing darkly. “Yeah I’ve had sex, but… but it was never… it was just fooling around.” Kisumi finished looked at Mikoshiba as if he were challenging him.

“And is it just fooling around now?” Mikoshiba said quietly.

Kisumi’s eyes went wide. “No, it’s not. At least I don’t want it to be.”

“Me neither,” and the fire in his eyes returned. It was scorching. Mikoshiba put his hands on Kisumi’s thighs as he connected their mouths once again, and this time it was hungry. It was desire, need, want all wrapped into one searing kiss. His hands tightening on his thighs hard. Kisumi grabbed onto Mikoshiba’s shirt as if to hold him there, but he could feel himself pulling Mikoshiba towards him. And as he did so he felt his erection graze against something hard. They both gasped at the contact, breaking the kiss. Mikoshiba grabbed Kisumi’s hips and flipped him so fast that Kisumi barely registered what had happened before he felt Mikoshiba grind down against his thigh, his own thigh pressing up into Kisumi.

“Unh, Mikoshiba,” he said arching his back.

“Do you want me to stop?” Mikoshiba said as he continued to grind down onto Kisumi.

“Mmm no, more.” Mikoshiba let out a grown as he pressed down even harder.

“Kisumi, this is just the beginning so,” he gasped again panting above Kisumi, “so prepare yourself.”

Kisumi’s hands made their way to Mikoshiba’s ass, kneading it and pushing Mikoshiba down even further.

“Mikoshiba, I’m close,” he managed to get out.

“Me too me too, just hold on,” and Mikoshiba rutted even faster.

With a broken moan Kisumi felt as his orgasm overtook him, he shook and arched, barely aware of the groan that Mikoshiba made as his own orgasm came.

They lay there panting and sweating, before just letting their breathing go back to normal.

“Wow,” Kisumi said.

“Mmm,” came Mikoshiba’s reply as he crawled off. “We should get rid of these,” he said as he snapped his brief band. Kisumi sat up shakily in a daze.

“Yeah, ok,” Kisumi said as he crawled to sit on the edge of the bed.

Mikoshiba stared at him and it was extremely intense. He could feel himself heating up already. Mikoshiba was too erotic, Kisumi wasn’t sure if he could handle it. He practically oozed confidence and Kisumi felt like he had been completely taken in.

Mikoshiba’s right hand slowly raised his shirt up over his abs. He then, ever so slowly, stripped it off over his head before throwing it at Kisumi and walking back towards him. He hooked his thumbs into his waistband before bringing his briefs down at a snails pace. Kisumi had felt it rubbing up against him, but looking at the real thing was something else. And like everything else about Mikoshiba it surpassed expectations.

Kisumi was broken out of the spell when he saw Mikoshiba kneel in front of him and pull his head forward to whisper into his ear.

“Your turn.”

Kisumi could feel himself shaking slightly as he stood up. He looked at Mikoshiba thoughtfully, knowing that this wasn’t going to go to a sexy place after he stripped.

“Why don’t you do it for me?”

Mikoshiba came over and as he placed his hands on the hem of Kisumi’s shirt Kisumi breathed out.

“Boxers first.” If Mikoshiba was confused he didn’t show it, but he pulled down the boxers carefully before standing again, never breaking eye contact with Kisumi. He went for the shirt. Kisumi breathed out shakily as he pulled his arms over his head.

Mikoshiba looked at him before smiling and looking down. His smile turned to a look of confusion. Kisumi knew how he wanted to do this, he’d had plenty of time to think about it. He took Mikoshiba’s right hand and placed it on his ribs. He could feel Mikoshiba tense before he ran his hand over the scar. It was silent. Mikoshiba’s hand stilled as he looked up at Kisumi.

“This is why you avoided intimacy.”

Kisumi nodded slowly. He could see Mikoshiba’s hesitation.

“It’s ok, you can ask.”

“How?”

Kisumi took Mikoshiba’s other hand and held it.

“We were in a crash.” He could see as Mikoshiba pieced things together.

“Your brother and father?” he said worriedly.

“They were at home,” Kisumi answered simply.

Mikoshiba didn’t look sad, in fact his face hardened. He bent down. Kisumi gasped as he felt Mikoshiba leave kisses over the scar.

“You are beautiful,” he said firmly. And with no warning he took Kisumi’s flaccid cock in his mouth. Kisumi reached out to steady himself on Mikoshiba’s shoulders while he rolled him in his mouth. Kisumi felt the hardness return. Mikoshiba wasn’t gentle, and Kisumi hadn’t really expected him to be. He sucked off of Kisumi’s dick before quickly burying his nose into Kisumi’s hair again. It was fast and it was dirty and it was enough to make the sinking feeling that had started disappear. Kisumi came without warning it had been such a trip that he didn’t even realize that he was screaming in pleasure, his oversensitive cock shooting down Mikoshiba’s throat.

Afterwards Mikoshiba laid him down on the bed where Kisumi trembled silently in the aftershocks. Mikoshiba brought a towel and wiped away the crust on himself from earlier before wiping down Kisumi as well.

Mikoshiba slotted himself between Kisumi and the wall.

“But we didn’t…” Kisumi said as he tried to turn around. Mikoshiba held him in place as he began to kiss his neck. “We can save it for later. I just want to hold you right now.”

“Ok,” Kisumi said closing his eyes. It was warm and it was safe. Kisumi had never known what he’d been missing until he’d found it in Mikoshiba. 

**Author's Note:**

> Work title: lyrics from “Brushbloom Glow” by Tree Ring  
> Chapter title: lyrics from "Northern Lights" by Cider Sky


End file.
